More, More, More

My son learned the word “more” recently and I have come to hate it with a passion. He’s entered the seemingly never ending stages of whining, fit throwing, and demanding more, more, more of everything.

I was raised with the belief that I deserved nothing, that I was entitled to shit while my parents and sister seemed to have an insatiable need for things. My sister as a child would demand more shoes, my parents would demand more of me than was humanly possible, my friends would demand more of my time, my sympathies, and most of all I would demand more out of myself.

How often do we expect more? It seems like human nature to demand more out of life. Job doesn’t pay enough, not enough hours in the day, never enough sleep, never just happy with where things are. At what point do we say “this is enough, I’m good”? Some people could have all the time and money in the world and still would find something that isn’t enough.

I believe that the whole ‘not enough’ mindset is humanities attempt to fill a void that we’ve been trained to have. Christians claim the void can only be filled by god, and I believe they’re on the right track. But for me, someone who no longer believes in such a fairy tale, faith in a higher power still left me wanting. Still left me looking in the mirror and saying “It’s not enough” saying that I wasn’t enough for myself or anyone else. Then I…