Member-only story
Speaking from the perspective of a 22 year old, being a young mom is hard. People have certain expectations of what the criteria is for a good mom, mostly starting with ‘has a degree’ and ending with a specific set of looks. Many times I have gone out and joined groups for mothers in the community and been singled out and unwelcome. Whenever I finally began asking people why, the answer was shocking.
People didn’t think I looked like a mother.
Let me give you some background here. I’m about 5’4, have blue hair, wear a lot of eye make up and 95% of my wardrobe is black. I don’t own a pair of jeans that aren’t black, nore do I own a pair of tennis shoes. I have a tattoo and piercings and am saving up to get more of each. For some reason, my appearance gives off the impression of bad parenting.
So I began asking people “what does a mom look like?” and got a variety of answers. Some people said kind, some people said strong, other mothers typically answered tired (amen, sister). I found it funny that no one said “oh, they wear this kind of clothing and have this colored hair” etc. I have been insanely lucky to have found myself surrounded with great mothers. My mother in law single-handedly raised two children for 10 years while working multiple full time jobs and attending college. Her mother was a military wife raising her and…
